Jason has sent me the country quiz. The first time I took it I was the UN. "Most people think you're ineffective, but you are trying to completely save the world from itself, so there's always going to be a long way to go. You're always the one trying to get friends to talk to each other, enemies to talk to each other, anyone who can to just talk instead of beating each other about the head and torso. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, and you get very schizophrenic as a result. But your heart is in the right place, and sometimes also in New York."
It's true that I like to try to get people to get along, and that I can be privately smug about meaning well, but I also have other things to do. So I took the quiz again. This time I said that indeed I do often fight over little things (replace "fight" with "fret" and it's totally me), and that made me France. "Most people think you're snobby, but it's really just that you're better than everyone else. At least you're more loyal to the real language, the fine arts, and the fine wines than anyone else. You aren't worth beans in a fight, unless you're really short, but you're so good at other things that it usually doesn't matter. Some of your finest works were intended to be short-term projects."
That's not me at all. Zut alors, ce n'est pas vrai!
But then I wondered if Canada was an option, so I took the quiz with the intention of being Canada. The only thing I had to fudge was whether I like to ski. I don't like to ski (although the only time I tried was in Dubuque, Iowa, so you can see how it might have been a less than ideal experience). "People make fun of you a lot, but they're stupid because you've got a much better life than they do. In fact, they're probably just jealous. You believe in crazy things like human rights and health care and not dying in the streets, and you end up securing these rights for yourself and others. If it weren't for your weird affection for ice hockey, you'd be the perfect person."
Regardless of what country the quiz says I am, the most telling thing is that I want to be Canada.
PS: However, if I were an aging British rocker, I'd want to be David Bowie. I'm not saying I would be David Bowie - but if I got to pick, he's my choice. I couldn't find a "What aging British rocker are you?" quiz but I imagine I'd end up as the guy from Herman's Hermits or, at the best, Paul McCartney. I'm not really edgy enough to be David Bowie.
