Dear Martha,
I have just received the March issue of Living and feel I must write to express my concern with the magazine's depiction of your life in prison. While I am pleased that the publication is acknowledging your current sitaution, whoever wrote this has made you out to be a deluded zombie who blindly crochets, teaches yoga, and plans her garden with no real sense of what she's going through. Surely you are remorseful. I understand one must stay positive, focused on the future, and keep one's mind busy with enjoyable, challenging activities, but I think many of your readers would appreciate a note that tells us of what this experience has taught you, of how you may have changed, of advice you would give others.
How can you have a crochet hook in prison anyway? You can't even take them in carry-on baggage.
Additionally, thank your staff for the comment in this month's letters column about the safety issues surrounding leaving small kitchen appliances plugged in when not in use. You and my mother agree on this point and so, after recently having accidentally left my toaster oven on for four hours while not at home, I shall unplug.
Sincerely, and with recipe cards, garden tools, and freshly-laundered curtains in hand,
BW
