another letter to Martha

Dear Martha,

I have just received the September issue of Living and feel I must write to express my concern with the magazine's depiction of ... well, you.

Firstly, what in the name of good sense are you wearing on the cover? You are a grown woman who no doubt has a stylist and a lively checkbook and lives in close proximity to Manhattan (although I suppose you can't personally go shopping right now - apologies). You look like any one of several thousand undergraduates on my campus. Your jeans are whiskered, for goodness's sake, and your sweater is sheer with a strappy tank. You look about twenty years younger, but not in any way that could possibly be natural. You also appear to be standing in a pose based on Paris Hilton, with the joints on alternating sides of your body jutting out strangely. You're cradling a shrubbery. I know you like your plants but I'm not sure I've ever seen you hug even your pets. Put the plant down.

Furthermore, your column about paint color inspiration is deranged. Do you have a robot, attached to a thesaurus and the New York Times social pages, that writes those for you? We don't care where the antique fair was where you saw the exquisite lava jewelry cameoes. We don't care who your friends are or how many marathons they've run or what other virtuous things they do in their spare time. I'm sure your new house is lovely - I have never for an instant doubted your talents - but surely there was a better way to express your process of making it, as you say, a home.

You may remember me from a previous missive last February. Your publication generally brings me great joy and inspiration - and appreciation for your staff's love of life's little delights - so it is with a heavy heart that I have written the above. I just wish you the best - but don't your toes hurt in those little pointy shoes? Put on your gardening clogs and tell me what to do with my crop of tomatoes. Please. I miss you.


PS Is the cover image the work of Trump or those other reality-show sleazebags? Just walk away, girl. Walk away.

I rambled about other stuff too. Wanna see?

April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 May 2006 June 2006 August 2006 October 2006 December 2006 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 September 2007 July 2008

projects, friends, etc.

  • I love Bollywood so much that I made a separate blog for it.
  • remember when I went to Australia?
  • when you take grad school too much to heart re: literature
  • when you take grad school too much to heart re: travels
  • The Trophy Wife
  • rock and roll lifestyle
  • Why God Why
  • Technically not a friend, as not a human, but still a place I love very much, so it counts: Massey College
  • credits

  • Blog design is based largely on Not That Ugly with some ideas from Firdamatic with some additional tweaking
  • Flickr rocks! Really.
  • Hurrah for Blogger
  • And for folks trying to library-ize blogs: Blogwise and Blogarama
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