I have been tagged by AFJ, who knows me from my other blog, Beth Loves Bollywood, but this seemed a better fit over here, so I'm moving it. You will forgive the Bolly-influenced tone.
The rules of the game are:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.
First of all, let me say the word "lover" gives me the heebie-jeebies. Except in Bollywood or old-fashioned things. Outside of those contexts it makes me think of skeezy men. (This is not the fault of the word or of people who use it.) So I'm going to water it down a bit for my own purposes.
Second, I am going to copy from the 7 things meme, as there is some overlap, but I'll update it, as that one is three months old and we know how these things can change. Also the 7 things meme is "things that attract me to another person" and the more I think about it the more they are basically the same things, with that little often indescribable difference that causes you to fall in love. Or rise in love, if you subscribe to the Taal theory.
Third, I don't know enough people with blogs who would enjoy the exercise to tag anyone. But I will tell my non-blog friends about it and try to get them to do it over email instead.
It would be great if my twitterpatee (oh, alright, twitterpate with an aigu over the final e, but no double e, if we are following French properly) had the following:
1. true warmth, kindness, and consideration for other people (and this really is number one) (and it is compulsory)
2. willingness to be goofy
3. interests and enthusiasms - these don't have to be the same as mine, but having some topic, some hobby, some subject that makes him go "oooh! that's interesting!" or "I want to learn more" is so important - no mental couch potatoes
4. fondness for the Simpsons
5. desire to make his home/living space look and/or feel like himself
6. my 7 things meme #6 says "good grammar" but that's just an initial attraction thing - for this list, I'm changing it to "enjoyment of words," because I love reading - and talking and writing
7. book smarts - this makes me a snob, I suspect, but it's been true my whole life, so I figure it's important to me for whatever reasons, noble or not
8. and, in keeping with this blog, an appreciation of Bollywood. He doesn't have to love it, but if he would watch with me from time to time and then listen while I ramble on, that would be really nice - and if he enjoyed it, that would be swell. Or maybe just an appreciation for what I appreciate about Bollywood would suffice. He gets why I like it and doesn't find it insurmountably weird that I like it as much as I do. Yes, that will do, I think.
Of course, some of these demand to be shared and/or reciprocal - I put #1 on there because that's how I try to be because I think it's pretty much the point of life in general. And if he'll watch Dil Chahta Hai for the umpteenth time with me, I'll do the equivalent.
They also are a remarkably Bollywood-free set of hopes, given my pop culture diet lately - no literal arm-flinging required. Figurative, though - that's a must, at some point. It doesn't have to be from across a crowded engagement party the very first time you meet, though.
The thing is, you can make lists until the cows come home, but in my experience they won't matter one teeny tiny jot when someone good comes along. And if you're lucky and brave, you'll give it a whirl anyway, and the ways he derivates from what you thought you wanted will just challenge you to figure out why you thought you wanted them.
Huh. I seemed to have veered off of the person and on to the relationship. Anyway, my point is that if someone really interesting and funny and kind enters your life, you don't drop the whole thing just because he doesn't like dogs. You just lend your dog to a friend for the afternoon and then pet him extra and give him a new chew toy when you pick him up later. ("Him" the dog, not the guy. Probably.)
the 8 things tag
Wednesday, January 18, 2006 10:08 PM
2 comments
2 comments
The thing is, you can make lists until the cows come home, but in my experience they won't matter one teeny tiny jot when someone good comes along.
I totally agree with this! I used to think grammar was like THE most important thing but then I met this super nice guy whose grammar wasn't that cool but I decided to give him a chance anyway because you can learn grammar, but you can't learn to be a nice guy!
By 
Accidental Fame Junkie, at
January 19, 2006
Well said! I think that's an important distinction - and it makes me want to re-think my list with it in mind!
By Beth Loves Bollywood, at
January 19, 2006
